I wrote what’s below back in July — Alton Sterling, the police officers shot in New Orleans, Philandro Castille. I wrote it because it was really bugging me. I wrote it and put it away. It was more like therapy and I felt just fine after I hit “save.”

Then Colin Kaepernick. Last weekend, I couldn’t bring myself to watch him get skewered by “patriots” for choosing to kneel for the national anthem. Suddenly, he was a terrible person and he should go find somewhere else to live. I wonder where our common sense went. Why is it difficult to understand that a person can appreciate the advantages granted him in this country (advantages he almost certainly couldn’t have anywhere else) and yet acknowledge that there are several things about our country that is flawed? This does not make you a hypocrite or a traitor. It makes Kaepernick a human, and he is one of the decreasing number in our country who can hold two things.

*****

I listened to this TED Talk recently that I can’t stop thinking about. It was from Ash Beckham, a lesbian and an activist about duality – the idea that you can hold two things at once, that it is in fact our nature to do this. I’m thinking about it a lot today.

Many people are taking the events of the last couple of days and are picking a side. But I am holding two things.

I grew up in Brooklyn. So I grew up knowing names like Abner Louima and Amadou Diallo, and knowing then that if you’re black, you need to be extra careful in your dealings with the police. You understood that even though some officers did horrible things to innocent people, they might not be punished for it. That made me sad and frustrated.

I grew up in Brooklyn. It’s a melting pot, and I knew so many people of so many various backgrounds that I understood that identity – real identity – is far deeper than skin. I passed high school algebra because of a couple of Pakistani kids in my class. Our teacher, Ms. Goldberg, perversely delighted in making those of us who were bad at math feel bad about it. These guys who sat next to me in the back of the class would just explain it to me so I could understand. I wouldn’t trade anything for growing up in Brooklyn.

I love and respect the black men in my life. My dad and uncles and grandfathers were black men. I watched my little brother grow up to be a black man. I recognize that their journey through this country is different than that of others. I went to Hampton University and met a diverse depth of brotherhood I had not seen, even having lived minutes from Harlem.

I love my husband. He is a white man. He is the stay-at-home father of our children and he makes a wicked batch of jalapeno-infused tequila.

I also respect law enforcement. My brother is a police officer. Even if he weren’t, I would have to recognize that the best of them have an instinct to run towards danger to serve and protect, instead of away from danger, as I would.

I can hold two things. You can, too. It’s not natural to pick a side when it comes to complex issues. You can think that two police officers who have neutralized a situation by fully restraining their suspect, and then shooting that suspect to death is horrible, and you can also think that the needless deaths of five police officers is horrible, and that neither should happen.

The Black Lives Matter movement holds two things. The movement is not “Black Lives Matter More” but “Black Lives Matter, Too.” It certainly does not mean that if a black life is taken, you must go take a blue life. No one in his right mind would ever suggest this. And yet, in this very complex situation, we are encountering people who cannot hold two things, because the thing they’re holding is hate or fear, and it polarizes the conversation.

You can hold two things. You should hold two things.

 

Most journalists I know, especially those currently in the game, are multi-taskers, to say the least. I can’t think of anyone I know in a newsroom with only one job. Many people feel stretched thin and yet, they love the job so much that they find it difficult to walk away. Most of us have at least stretches that are like this.

In this vein, I stumbled upon something last weekend that fascinated me. The Poynter Institute is overseeing a crowdfunding campaign aimed at “fixing the broken newsroom.” The two Poynter staffers, Ren LaForme and Katie Hawkins-Gaar, overseeing it would find journalists who are presumably facing the same challenges most journalism professionals are facing today and interview them, sharing the advice they give in an effort to offer new approaches on how to deal with them.

The project, called “40 Better Hours” is short on specifics, but high on energy, if you check out the video. I had many questions about the presentation after I saw it and couldn’t decide how I felt about it. I still can’t. It’s great to see people recognizing that the newsroom culture right now is fairly unhealthy. The pressure can be overwhelming. The requirements keep shifting. Trying to maintain any organization or consistent schedule is basically impossible. But for years, that has just been accepted as a fact of life.

On the other hand, most journalists would say that if the leading contributor to the sickly newsroom culture is that properly staffing a newsroom – with an adequate number of staffers and the level of experience required to do this job. How do you change that?

Perhaps the most opinionated group of people I’ve ever met are journalists. I figured that posting this on social media would generate some spirited conversation. So I shared it on The Facebook and tweeted it, and … well, “meh” doesn’t do the response I received justice. A couple of former coworkers who have seen their share of newsroom shenanigans thought it was a bad idea (they used more colorful language), while another didn’t like the idea of supporting any project involving the Tampa Bay Times, which had just swallowed rival Tampa Bay Tribune in possibly the ugliest of ways, which could end in a lawsuit. But on the topic of improving newsroom culture, not a word. From journalists.

If you’ve never worked in a newsroom, it might be difficult to understand why this is so odd. Consider this: It takes at least 45 minutes to order any meal as a group in the newsroom. Where to go? What to get? “Why are you getting that?” “What the hell is that?” “I hate that place!” So having nothing to say about a problem that surely plagues every newsroom in the country right now is highly unusual.

I was able to tease some information out of a few people I work with, who expressed a bit of hope for the idea. But this effort is not buzzworthy among journalists right now – no one is talking about it. Journalists are also highly skeptical by nature, so it wouldn’t be surprising for most of them to express that. But not even that — well, except for two people.

In a “room” full of the most opinionated people I know, there’s almost complete silence. This is bad news for Ren and Katie. There’s only one reason intelligent, highly opinionated people don’t discuss something – because it doesn’t matter to them. In a sentence, journalists don’t care much about fixing newsroom culture because it’s not a thing they think can happen. Maybe, just maybe so many of them are beaten down by what’s happening to the industry that the idea that things can get better is more likely to draw out bitter feelings rather than hopeful ones.

It looks like Ren and Katie have met their initial $10,000 goal, so presumably we’ll start seeing what they come up with. The question is, “Will anyone be listening by then?”

I’ve been in Lakeland for nearly a year now, and this place is unlike any other place I’ve lived. Right now, I’m renting a house that’s next door to a farm. On the other side of that farm is a six-lane highway. On a given morning, I can hear cows lowing, the hum of traffic and sirens and also find a snake in the lanai. Or as we did on Christmas, a bobcat strolling through our backyard. Anyway, it’s an interesting place is my point. I’ve been challenging myself to take more photos of the cool things I see, and I have taken a bunch. (No, sorry, no bobcats, though.) My photography skills aren’t great, and neither is the equipment (my non-iPhone camera), but I’ll occasionally share my photos because why take them if you don’t put them in an album? Right?

I took this a couple weeks ago as a storm was rolling in. I parked my car across from this spot on Lake Morton, hoping to catch an image of lightning that had been crackling overhead. This is not a good idea, for the record. Anyway, I tried for a while and then figured it’d be pretty sad to have to read in my obit that I was struck by lightning while trying to take a photo of said lightning.

This was cool. So I was driving to work last week and pulled up behind this horse trailer. I drove really slow to try to stay behind him so I could snap some photos at a stop light. Naturally, this was one morning where every light on U.S. 98 was green. Until this one. The horse was actually looking away when I started taking photos, and gradually turned his head until he made eye contact with me. I’m gonna say he was OK with me taking his photo.

The statue in the middle is … interesting. “Interesting” is often code for “ugly,” but I guess I would just settle on weird. Actually, shortly after I took this photo during my lunch break, our paper ran a story about this structure. It’s called “Tribute to the Volunteer Spirit” and it was made by this world-famous artist named Albert Paley. It was kind of a big deal that the city had commissioned this well-known guy to do this work, but not everyone is pleased with the way it turned out. Also, the paint is peeling pretty badly, so it needs repairs, as do the columns behind it.

That’s my daughter Jolie running down the aisle of Plaza Mexico, a Mexican supermarket we found on a rainy weekend. It’s in Winter Haven, the other big city in Polk County. Those colorful items overhead are pinatas. Yes, this place was awesome and smelled great and there is a chance I just talked my husband into going back today for dinner. #Yassssss

Last one. I love me some libraries. They don’t even have to try with me. They had me at ‘li.’ But the Lake Morton branch got creative because it’s National Poetry Month. Swoon.

 

Like everyone else in the world, I got caught up in “Serial” when it debuted in late 2014 and quickly disappeared down the rabbit hole of the Adnan Syed case. When “Serial” was over, I was thinking there had to be more, that there had to be more to know. And there was — if you listened to “Serial” and haven’t ever listened to “Undisclosed,” then there’s still a ton that you don’t know. And that podcast led me to “Truth and Justice with Bob Ruff.”

Bob Ruff is not Sarah Koenig — he is not the masterful storyteller she is. And if you doubt her skills at all, consider this: I am still listening to season 2 of Serial, even though I don’t care one fig about Bowe Bergdahl — not in the way Koenig has been pursuing the case. (Of course, just when I thought we were finally moving in the right directions with the episode “Thorny Politics” it turned out it was the next-to-last episode of the season. Shame. There was hope the show was moving past listening Bowe talk Bowe and Sarah talk Bowe.)

What Ruff is doing, though, is taking a sizable chance because he’s looking into cases that don’t involve someone as charismatic as Adnan, whose innocence is almost undeniable to those following “Undisclosed” and “Truth and Justice.” Ruff’s new cases are aiming to show that you don’t have to like someone, or agree with them, to recognize that an injustice has been done.

One of his new cases involves a young man he knows, Abi, who was pulled over by a police officer for having bad license plate lights. (??) Yeah, so that’s a thing that happens. Here’s a video that shows some of the incident. It’ll be interesting to see how this plays out, but there’s one thing that Ruff said in his podcast introducing this case that, to me, is at the heart of the entire debate about police brutality. Ruff said that a police officer’s job is to de-escalate a situation. (Spoiler alert: Telling a kid you’re going to pull him out of the car by his face is not a very effective de-escalation practice.)

When he said that, it reminded me of my vacation last fall to Barbados. We were at North Point, one of the tourist destinations, and I had to run back to the parking lot to find something in our rental car. On the way, a police car rolled into the lot and I took a picture of it because I found it interesting:

It says “To serve protect and reassure.”

A few minutes later, three officers entered the bar area where we were sitting and having some drinks. Two of them had huge guns strapped to their backs (sorry, I don’t know weapons that well) and the other was obviously a sergeant, although I’m not sure what they’re called in Barbados. That sight might have been imposing, but no one seemed alarmed. The guy in charge struck up a conversation with my father, another island native, and he was hilarious.

In the photo above, he’s talking to my dad on the far left, and the military police officers are at the bar. He gave my husband and I some parenting tips that essentially boiled down to never allowing your child to do anything and to never spare the rod, citing his own current experiences with his teenage son. We talked a bit about the American obsession with guns (and boy, what a sobering view of how people in other countries view us, even though he was very funny about it. Even considering the men standing behind him, he couldn’t understand why an average citizen would feel the need to carry such weapons). The other officers were courteous and appropriately deferential to their boss. We talked to those officers for about 20 minutes until they had to roll out.

Now, an encounter like this might not seem like much to you, but it sends a message. “If something happens to you, you can call me,” this exchange says. Right now in our country, people don’t believe that about police officers. Most police officers, including my brother, are good and honest and want to help you, but we tend to hear about the extreme cases. This is both unfair and completely necessary. If you leave a problem unchecked, you get Abi. You get Daniel Shaver, who was shot dead by police in perhaps the most nonthreatening pose a person can take. You get Sandra Bland.

Back in Pittsburgh a couple years back, the police chief there was forced to resign because he had been found guilty of misappropriating department funds. His replacement was Cameron McLay, who was inheriting a force with a few bigger problems than predecessor Nate Harper. There were several allegations and lawsuits about police interacting inappropriately during arrests — cases varying from a young woman being roughed up at a St. Patrick’s Day parade, to a young man whose dreads were pulled out of his head, to a late-night shooting on a busy street in which occupants of two cars were shot at by police. To his credit, the first thing McLay did was to schedule meet-and-greets with residents. I snuck into the back of one, which took place at a predominately black church in the Hill District, a black neighborhood in Pittsburgh. Not to cover it — I just wanted to hear what he had to say, if he would tow the blue line. He surprised me. He didn’t deflect the hard questions about the previous cases, and admitted that officers needed to talk to city resident more, outside of a crime scene, in order to restore broken trust. Just listening to the buzz around me, the attendees seemed hopeful. More than that, they appeared glad to be able to put a name to a face. I approached him afterward and introduced myself, that I was a columnist who had been critical of the department and that I would be watching him. He shook my hand firmly, smiled and said, “Good.”

McLay obviously came into Pittsburgh to de-escalate the situation. It sounds like a small thing, but it is incredibly important that a police officer enter a situation prepared to de-escalate it, to serve, protect and reassure. I believe you can do that and also be vigilant and protect yourself and others in perilous situations. I believe that most officers also believe that. But in many of these escalated cases, we see young people who are either not properly trained or are not ready for the situation they are in — just like Bergdahl, in fact.

I always thought this was a problem that only the police can deal with from within, which in the end is true. But one thing individuals can do is what Ruff is doing — apply outside pressure. He highlights patterns of injustice, but you can advocate for better training for officers, too. You can reach out to the police where you are, outside of the yellow tape, and invite them to a community sit-down.

It’s finally occurring to me that we can all work to de-escalate this situation, and it might sound weird, but it’s time for us to get aggressive about doing that.

There has been some light chatter lately about the casting for the upcoming biopic about Nina Simone.

OK, no. People are legit mad about this. It surrounds the fact that Zoe Saldana in no way resembles the singer/activist.

This is a concept that is rather unprecedented in Hollywood, right? Hiring an actor who doesn’t look like the subject? That never happens in movies!

 

Never.

Basically unprecedented, like I said.

Well, George Clooney is a fox.

Seriously, the problem with this controversy is that it is misguided. No, Zoe Saldana

does not look anything like Nina Simone

.

But there have been times when that hasn’t stopped a movie from being made. And darkening Saldana’s skin to make her look more like Simone has been done before. But for me, the question is not whether this is blackface. It isn’t. It’s makeup used to make an actor look like her subject. Steve Carell donned a huge prostetic nose and got nominated for an Oscar. Will Smith is several shades lighter than Nigerian doctor Bennet Omalu and is an American. (No Oscar for that, but a touchy subject, so)

But you do this. You make these concessions for a movie when the actor is right for the part. Carrell and Smith sure made you forget that one was a comedy writer and performer on “The Daily Show” back in the day and the other used to be a rapper. So, is Saldana right for the part? Does she warrant the extra million bucks in makeup that the studio has to spend to make this pic work?

The movie isn’t out yet, so maybe the answer is yes. Maybe Saldana surprises everyone and gets the Oscar nod, too. But based on Saldana’s current body of work, well, I don’t see it. Remember her scene-stealing work in “Avatar?” “Guardians of the Galaxy?” And boy, what she bought to the party in the “Star Trek” movies? Woo buddy!

(And *facepalm* — I just looked up Saldana’s filmography and I see there are three more “Avatar” movies in pre-production. Why? Why?!!!!!!) My question is: Is Zoe Saldana so good an actress that it’s worth the effort? Is this just a case where her skin was the only obstacle to playing this role? No. The odd thing is that it appears that Saldana seems somewhat aware of her square-peg situation, especially if you read this story.

So why would you take a role that you don’t feel suited to take? The answer is the lack of diversity in the arts. Saldana is a woman of color and if you don’t like her shade, well, OK then. But she is a woman of color. Perhaps she took this role because there aren’t a lot of other roles for women of color out there. Not good, well-developed roles, anyway.

It’s tough to find meaty roles for women in general. The reason is that your screenwriters and directors are still mostly men and do not possess even a suntan. Can a man write a three-dimensional role for a women, picking up her nuances, a realistic reaction to a certain situation? Can he do the same for a person of color? Not without a lot of research, and even then, it’s still guessing. So what you get is a lot of white male-heavy movies with weak female supporting characters in the first place. What you also get are women of color with limited options for movie roles that are good. You get Zoe Saldana playing a role that even she isn’t sure she should play. I hope she does it well — often, the really great actors are only found after someone takes a chance on them, giving them a role that others think might be too much for them. The trailer for “Nina” doesn’t really give you much of Zoe being Nina, which is already an interesting choice.

This controversy should be a lesson to Hollywood. The general lacking of good roles for woman and people of color is not going to reverse itself until you start giving a forum to more women and minority writers and directors. And at least one major movie studio realizes this: Warner Bros. announced this week it is launching a program that will mentor five directors from underrepresented groups. Now this might seem small, but this is exactly what will bring about a more diverse Hollywood world.

 

 

Photos of Omalu and Smith from The Associated Press. Photo of Carell from wireimage.com. Photos of John duPont, Clooney, Mr. Fox and Saldana taken from wikipedia.com. Photo of Simone from ninasimone.com.

 

Yes, yes. Once again, the Oscars took on the ‘I have a black friend’ approach and came off as awkward as ever. Chris Rock’s opening was masterful, but wow, did the lack of diversity get poured on thick for the hour I watched. Finally, I crossed my fingers for Leonardo DiCaprio and watched The Big Short.
By the time I had turned it off, Spotlight had won for best writing and when it was all said and done, it had also won for best movie. It is a powerful movie; you should see it. The best thing the movie has done is raise awareness of the rampant sexual abuse by priests in the Catholic church. The film really does put that into perspective.
But the second thing Spotlight has done is show the casual movie viewer just how influential and important good journalism can be. That team had a year and change to research, develop and bring the story to light. Unless you work at the New York Times or the Washington Post, you don’t have that anymore. In a roundabout way, Spotlight shows that journalism is a shell of its former self. Reporters can work on projects, sure, but now that have to make sure they don’t forget to shoot video and photos (because news companies are deciding that you don’t need photographers) and hit that byline count for the month. In today’s newsroom, Walter Robinson would not only have to oversee his investigative team, he’d no doubt get roped into some administrative-type duties, such as overseeing newsroom contest entries. He sure as hell wouldn’t have time to roll up his sleeves and start researching with his people.
Spotlight is a hard movie to watch in a lot of ways. Maybe one day, it will cause news companies to stop and ponder what they’re doing to newspapers, and will put the cleaver down long enough to realize that they’re turning newsrooms into news sweatshops.

When I was younger, I used to have dreams about sitting on the beach, and watching a giant wave from the ocean come in and overtake me. It wasn’t a regular dream — just every now and again. I’d wake up knowing I was scared in the dream, but also thinking that the water was beautiful. And I haven’t really had that type of dream since I was in my teens. The other night, I dreamed I was in a house with glass walls and windows and it was near the water. In this version, the waves start crashing against my glass house until there is a fracture on the ceiling. It only takes a couple waves for it to break a hole and that’s when I wake up. There is beauty and definition in dreams.